Let’s talk about something we *all* navigate — how we communicate. Whether it’s in friendships, romantic relationships, or even business partnerships, communication is the thread that ties us all together. But here’s the thing — we all have our own unique rhythms. And when we can recognise and honour these rhythms, it can lead to stronger, more meaningful connections.

Let me break it down for you. In every relationship, there are two key elements to how we communica

Frequency (how often we touch base) + Intensity (how deep or emotional our conversations go)

When you understand where someone (or even you) naturally falls on this matrix, it can help to navigate those connections with more grace and compassion.

There are four common types of communication rhythms. Let’s dive in!

The firecracker: high frequency, high intensity

These are the people who text every day — sometimes multiple times — and dive straight into the deep stuff. You’ll have long conversations full of vulnerability, intense emotions, and heartfelt talks.

Think of that best friend who sends you a voice note every morning, updating you on their life while asking about yours. Or your business partner who’s constantly checking in on projects, giving detailed feedback, and brainstorming new ideas. There’s never a dull moment, and you often leave the conversation feeling seen and heard.

In business: these relationships thrive on collaboration, rapid exchanges, and deep dives into strategy and vision.

The hummingbird: high frequency, low intensity

These connections are more about keeping in touch often but without always getting into the big stuff. You might exchange messages daily, but they tend to be short and sweet — checking in, sharing a meme, or updating each other on light-hearted topics. It’s a rhythm of consistency and presence without needing to go deep every time.

This is your friend who sends you a quick “Hey, thinking of you!” or your colleague who regularly updates you on tasks without diving into too much detail. These connections offer a sense of stability and ease.

In business: it’s the client who emails every few days with updates or quick clarifications, keeping things moving smoothly without overwhelming intensity.

The iceberg: low frequency, high intensity

This is the person you don’t talk to often, but when you do, the conversation gets real. You might not text for weeks, but when you finally catch up, you’re in for deep discussions that leave you feeling closer than ever. There’s no awkwardness, just a natural flow back into things.

This could be the friend who calls you once every couple of months and you both instantly launch into hours of deep and meaningful conversations (D&Ms). Or that partner who doesn’t text during the day but, when you do connect, the conversation dives into your dreams, fears, and future plans.

In business: this might be the client who reaches out once a quarter for a big strategy meeting or deep review of work, pouring into ideas and taking action afterward, but is quiet in between.

The light breezer: low frequency, low intensity

These are the low-key connections where you check in now and then with no real urgency to go deep. It’s all light, casual, and there’s no pressure on either side. These relationships are about mutual respect for personal space and understanding that both of you are doing your own thing.

Think of the friend you only talk to at parties or that colleague you touch base with on special occasions. There’s no hard feelings or distance, just a gentle breeze of connection that’s easy and low-maintenance.

In business: these might be clients who only reach out once or twice a year, and the conversations are brief but polite — maybe just to renew a service or check in on small updates.

As you reflect on these communication styles, I encourage you to consider two things:

1. Where do you naturally fall?

2. Where do the people in your life fall?

The magic happens when we embrace these rhythms instead of trying to force them. It’s OK if your bestie doesn’t message every day — they may just be the iceberg in your life, bringing high-intensity value when it’s needed. Or maybe your partner is more of a hummingbird — always there, but keeping things light and easy.

The key is acceptance and understanding.

In a world that often makes us feel like more communication is always better, I’m here to remind you that different rhythms work for different relationships. What matters most is being in sync with those who matter most and honouring your own, and others’ style of communication.

I’d love to know — where do you see yourself on this spectrum? And how do the people in your life show up for you?